April Fools' Special
It was recently reported that the delay in the construction of the new academic building on campus was due to the harsh weather in Chicago during the winter months. This has been the official reason given by the school and city alike, but the delay was truly caused by gophers. These are not your run of the mill gophers, however, as many of them have apparently grown massive in size and have begun to surface due to the ongoing work in and around their homes in Morton Park.
Have you noticed your peers acting distant? Have they been disappearing at odd hours of the night with no explanation of where they’ve been and a crazed look in their eyes? The source of these problems may be Illinois Tech’s frequent use of acronyms; many students believe that these acronyms, previously believed to be mere literary conveniences, are becoming not only sentient, but malevolent.
If you live in the residence halls or Greek housing here at Illinois Tech, you probably think you know the ropes by now. If you commute to school, you’ve probably still visited one of our residential buildings with friends at one point or another. Still, there are some little things that you may not notice from day to day, and some bigger things that THE SHADOW BOARD OF TRUSTEES IS HIDING FROM YOU.
Explorative, deep, strategic. In the context of games, did those words make you think of a video game? If so, you have been living a lie, perhaps full of pretty screens, but what is real life besides a large, metaphorical television screen anyway? To the gamer in you, I say take out a napkin and a pen so that you can play a real game: Tic Tac Toe. You may be about to tell me to go fish for a new mentality on what constitutes a real game, but hear me out on this. As such, here is a review you never asked for but assuredly will change your mind on gaming.
1. Don’t be a jerk
What an extraordinarily successful season for Alternative Spring Break! The most number of applications ever, the largest team size ever, correspondingly the biggest budget and the most successful fundraising season! This included the annual Pie in the Face with President Anderson himself dropping by ever so sportingly to get pied for charity and a Tamale Sale that was deeply appreciated by all. This was also the year with the first ever ASB Fall Build as well as ASB Chicago, for those unable to attend the spring build trip to West Virginia.
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