Do you lose your calm and start yelling at others? Do you hurt others by saying mean things? Emotions play a significant role in our relationships. And like other emotions, anger is natural and even healthy at times. But it’s important to deal with it positively. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both our health and our relationships. In this article, I would like to share a few things that help me to control my anger.
First, stop and think before you talk. Your actions may be unexpected when you're angry. When angry and agitated, it is easy to use harsh language. At times, when we are angry, we say things to our loved ones that we later regret. The saddest part is that the harm done by words cannot be undone. Therefore, it's better to stay silent for a while when you're frustrated and angry and repeat the phrase "take it ease, everything's going to be okay" in your mind. This will help you to change your mental focus and cultivate a positive mental environment. Even if you are skeptical, try to give it a shot and watch the magic it does in your life.
Second, take a look at the outcomes. Even if there are times when anger is justified, we frequently react angrily to small issues that don't call for such a strong emotion. Suppose, for instance, that at a restaurant, coffee was unintentionally spilled over your brand-new clothing. Even though you could feel irritated, making a scene in such circumstances won't help. Instead, you should forgive the offender if the mistake was genuine. Saying hurtful things out of rage might severely damage your relationship. So, before acting out of anger, consider the potential consequences. Whether or not the circumstances demand such response? Or could this response harm the people you love?
Third, talk to the other person. If you hold anger for a long time, eventually you'll lose control and ruin everything. Just express your frustrations to the person you are angry with. By being open and honest with the other person, you can find out what the other person was thinking when they did what they did. Moreover, the conversation will also them understand why you are upset and refrain from doing the same in the future. You won't benefit in any way by holding anger; on the contrary, it will simply cause mental restlessness. As a famous saying goes, "Anger is a punishment we give to ourselves for someone else's mistakes."
Forth, when you are upset, take a quick break and calm down so you can assess the situation more clearly. Instead of ranting about it, look at if from the other angle, and it may help to find a better solution. The approach is similar to taking a brief nap when you're upset. It allows your brain to rest. When you wake up, you'll discover that you're not quite as upset as you were and will approach the matter with an open mind. Altering your environment can also help in anger management. Take a drive or go for a long stroll, for instance. You'll probably discover that when you get back, you're better able to handle the chaos.
Finally, look from the other person's perspective. People often jump to conclusions when they’re angry and often say the most unkind things that pops into their head. When someone pisses you off, try to access the situation from their perspective. Put yourself in their shoes and think about why the whole thing happened in the first place or what was the agenda behind this, or maybe someone wanted to do something good but they made a small mistake. Looking from other’s perspective when we are angry can be challenging, but it’s worth a shot when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship.