National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo): haunted Rivers Cuomo fanfic

Slander Generator
Mon Nov 08, 2021

Introduction: National Novel Writing Month is an exercise for the month of November, in which aspiring or established authors challenge themselves to write a part of a novel every day of the month of November, hopefully having fleshed out a strong idea for a novel by the end. It is an amazing challenge for both discipline and writing skills. After all, the best way to get better at writing is, well, writing! The below was my first writing session of the month, inspired by a lot of the horror and vaguely spooky content I had absorbed through the month of October. 

Rivers Cuomo feels compelled by a power greater than himself to put out a new Weezer album. The urge — he’s not quite sure what it is, but it’s overpowering nonetheless — is something between a primitive drive and a compulsion, all to write 12 tracks of power-pop mediocrity. Rivers feels the power almost take control of him, and, in an almost third-person view of his body, Rivers picks up his Blackberry and texts every current member of Weezer go get the band back together for a new album. Immediately after, he sets out booking recording studios for months and months of sessions. 

“It’s going to be called the Maroon album,” he tells them. “We’re going to get Zac Carper from FIDLAR to produce it. Let’s fly out to San Diego this weekend to meet him.” He commits himself to writing all the songs himself, unsure of what to do. Then, Rivers has a vision, as a voice seems to speak down to him from the heavens. It instructs him that the Maroon album is to be a mix of covers and original homages to 2000s pop punk and more modern midwest emo. 

“They said ‘Pinkerton’ isn’t emo, well I’ll give them emo,” Rivers hears himself say, despite not consciously trying to say anything at all. 

Rivers is a man possessed. 

Rivers’ hands begin furiously typing on the computer in front of him, writing out a mashup-medley of three pre-hiatus Fall Out Boy songs, as he feels himself lose consciousness. He wakes up to see his hands still typing, writing, scribbling furiously in front of his own eyes, then loses consciousness again. Though this happens to him multiple times, the musician’s body won’t register a wink of sleep until the band flies out to San Diego. Until then, Rivers writes. 




Appears in
2021 - Spring - Issue 11