Technews Writer
Mon Sep 10, 2018

     The following is a summary of an internal conversation that the author involuntarily partakes in on a daily basis. The opinions (if you can call them that) are not expressly shared (at least publicly) by any other members of the TechNews team and are expressly only those of the author. This notice is present not because the content of this article is inappropriate or upsetting, but because it is, if anything, just weird to see this written on paper.

     I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend how cicadas and other buzzing insects that I constantly hear on campus continue to live here in Chicago despite the fact that the frigid cold of the winter is a guaranteed event that occurs here. How the heck do they live through that icy hell without the help of technology like heaters and warm clothing? Even with that, humans still appear to have trouble living through the winter, myself included. So how do they do it? Do they hurdle together for warmth like penguins? Or perhaps they migrate hundreds of mile south to a warmer climate, like many birds? I could Google the question, but I'm not that invested to put any effort into researching this question. There is a list of such questions that I have, questions that I always set aside for later but eventually forget about until it eventually rears it ugly head at me once again only for the "setting aside" process to occur once again.

     Going back to the ideas I have regarding possible solutions to the answers: perhaps they infiltrate warmer locations like campus buildings and dorms, in which case why haven't the spiders taken advantage of the annual winter buffet resulting from the cicadas retreating to safety indoors? Their old webs are everywhere, so I assume those eight legged critters are present, but they never seem to be home because the webs are always empty. Where did they go? If there's one thing that I dislike more than the presence of spiders, it is the sudden lack of spider presence, because at least when they're in eyesight, I know where they are. Going back to the cicadas, they're not in the webs either, so I can only assume that either the spiders are leaving no leftovers, or my proposed solution is incorrect.

     Now that I've invested so much of my current mental capacity on the subject of noisy bugs living right outside my window, I am also curious as to how they can make themselves sound like they've completely surrounded me despite the fact that I have yet to see even on of those little suckers (I'm assuming they're little) in the three and a half years I have been here. Again, I haven't really tried to look for them because I'd rather not see them or really any insect near me, and I don't care enough to actually try. I assume that other people can't see them either because everyone seems to look in different directions when the noise becomes louder than usual. I hope that is the case and it's the noise they're looking for, because I cannot help but think that they are looking away from me. Now, that's a rabbit hole I'd rather not dive head first into without at least some idea of what I'll find at the bottom. Being a rabbit hole after all, there may be a few spiders down there that I'd rather not confront if I can help it. Perhaps that's where the spiders went, but I sure as heck don't want find out first hand, or any hand, for that matter. 





Appears in
2018 - Fall - Issue 2