Stefan Herzing

Stories from Stefan Herzing

Date: 
Sunday, November 12th, 2017

As many college students know, after a week’s worth of dining on microwavable ramen, nothing is quite as good as rolling up to Chinatown, plopping down in a greasy booth or a splintering chair, and tunneling through a gargantuan pile of saucy noodles with a side of steamy rice. Or, if the fancy strikes, risking it all for the sweet, inexplicable delicacy that is cheap sushi.

Date: 
Sunday, November 5th, 2017

There are those nights when you feel like the streetlamp outside your window is shining just that inkling too brightly, that the comment your crush made on your appearance that day is sticking to the roof of your brain like peanut butter, or that you just can’t stop tapping your fingers on your thigh and have to get up and have a walk around to stop your jitters. Everybody has these nights, they are as normal and as common as the mornings when you can’t get out of bed without the promise of coffee.

Date: 
Sunday, November 5th, 2017
Even Mark Twain, one of the most famous American authors of the 19th century, understood that “A Classic is something that everybody wants to have read, but nobody wants to read.” The very mention of the word sends shivers down the spines of grade school students across the nation.
Date: 
Sunday, November 5th, 2017

In the 1960’s era of war over territorial disputes, political standpoints, gender equality, drug influence, and groovy vibes, director Roger Vadim’s 1968 science fiction film, Barbarella, burst onto screen as a satirical affront to all of these issues and more. Actress Jane Fonda, as Barbarella, is a stunningly beautiful and naïve space explorer from a halcyon future Earth, where there has not been fighting for so many generations that the words for it have almost been forgotten.

Date: 
Sunday, October 29th, 2017

I’ve never been one to be able to keep any kind of indoor plant alive for more than a few weeks, whether it’s a succulent, a cactus, or the like. I’ve always been more drawn towards outdoor gardening, reaping the harvest of my work. However, in the past few years, I’ve become quite fond of a certain special kind of indoor acquaintance: Marimo balls. These little aquatic plants are almost impossible to kill and require very little maintenance.

Date: 
Sunday, October 15th, 2017

Writing and Wingeing and Rice Krispy Treats

Wm. Stefan Herzing

Date: 
Saturday, September 30th, 2017

Recently, I went into 7/11 to buy a Slurpee and, though I did buy a small, was surprised when I went to pay that it came out at just over a dollar. This got me thinking about why all of the things near the counter were all written up to be so much more at near three to five dollars. At normal grocery stores they’ll overcharge you for things near the counter because most likely you are buying them out of the convenience that they’re nearby, but at 7/11, everything is already marked up for convenience anyway so that couldn’t be it.

Date: 
Saturday, September 23rd, 2017

Rarely in life I will actually give advice, as I feel it’s not really my place to do so yet. I haven’t lived very long nor faced many trials or tribulations, and as The Sunscreen Song says, “Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.” The only nostalgia I understand is from when I was a kid; life was simple, school was fun, goals were transparent, and heroes were honest and true.

Date: 
Sunday, September 17th, 2017

After a couple of nice, relaxing weeks of pulling my punches for the sake of not “offending” our more sensitive readers, I’ve decided to flex a little bit this week and give my actual opinion for once; no sprinkles and powdered sugar.